With the Christmas season round agin, the whole cycle of gifts buying and giving is at it again. Commercialisation drives us to buy endlessly without even understanding the real spirit of Christmas. What is the real spirit of Christmas, you ask? Well, for starters, for the 1.5 billion Catholics and Protestants out there, it is a celebration of the birth of the good LORD. If you are a non-believer, it is also easy to get into the spirit of giving, but not with gifts. Try this (now, this is really challenging),
"To make a difference in somebody's life today and tommorrow and thereafter".
Can you find a friend who is in need? In doubt of his/herself? Who needs love and attention? Who needs food, shelter? Can we befriend that person? Make that person feel what the true spirit of giving is about, rather than just material gifts?
Just last week, a close relative who came over for a visit at my house was boasting to the rest of the family that he was going overseas to do volunteer mission work to serve the hundreds of poor kids in a 3rd world country. I was not impressed, but rather disgusted with that thought. It is just so easy to take off, to another country, stay there for a week, feed the poor, clothe them and come home. The "volunteer" comes home feeling a sense of achievement and pride at having touched someone's life... for 1 week. But what is to happen for the next 51 weeks for that poor child? It would have been better if we had not gone to brighten their days for 1 week and leave them in despair for the rest of the year. How about looking closer to home? Statistics published this year (2006) in Singapore showed that there are almost 10% of families who live below the poverty line.
The real challenge in volunteerism my friend, is to reach out to that 10% of the underpriviledged of society, and to make a real difference in their lives, today, tommorow, and the future. To give love to the lonely, hope to the downtrodden, food to the hungry.
If we have forgotten what the Spirit of Christmas is, perhaps, we should watch A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, tune in to the radio that is playing Bob Geldof's Life Aid's "Do they know it is Christmas time at all?".
God bless, have a good Christmas and I will be back next year.
It's that time of the year again, Christmas, the year end holidays. Ah, to go on a well deserved break after a long year slogging away in a 2m x 2m cubicle (ala Dilbert). This week, all my pals have taken off and I am left alone in the office. Just a couple of days ago, my colleague told me that he had planned a nice swiss holiday for his family of 4 kids. Wow! 4 kids? The conversation wandered off into my own memories of the time I visited Switzerland in winter and experienced what many of us from the tropics dream about... playing in snow covered mountain plains and touching snow with our hands. The feeling of going on a holiday (and the thought of it) was already working the heart! Somehow, I could feel the "connection" of a common subject, him going there for the 3rd time and I, some time ago. Never mind that the time and space was different, but the experience would have been the same. So, I wouldn't return to a place I had visited so often as it takes away the excitement and the anticipation of trying out something new. But, ah! Next week, I will be going to Taiwan for the first time in my life. I am visiting the world's tallest building (Taipei 101) where a friend of mine works there. I am travelling with a group of my students and many of them are leaving these shores for the very first time in their lives! If we look back at our youths, we will realise that how fortunate we are if we had travelled afar when we were young.
This weekend's Blondie comic strip just rang some bells in my head. What am I talking about? Well, look at the comic strip (click on it to get a larger image).
If you are a real warm-blooded bloke, you have just gotta admit it that you have once glanced at a nice lady before? Only that she is someone else's wife? Or as the wife, have you ever been at the receiving end before?
Sometimes my wife tells me that some bloke was looking at her at the mall or supermarket, and my reply to her would be "Well,... you should be happy. At least you still look good (and desirable)!" ;-) Unbelievable? Somehow, human nature is such, we don't really treasure what we got, but we hanker after something we do not have, only to loose interest in it once we have acquired it. If we think really hard and reflect on ourselves, we will realise that there had been many situations where we want something badly, like a new toy, or X-box, only to loose interest in it after a while. It is truly a case of "Been there, done that!"
You know what. Society as a whole is heading south. In today's edition of a local low cost newspaper, it cited a research carried out by Ngee Ann Polytechnic about the behaviours of men (Singaporean men between 25 and 59 years) with respect to guess what? My fav topic; relationships.
Some of the data gleaned from the report:-
* There are 4 categories; Liberals, Chauvinists, Confident and Anxious.
* 34% of men felt it was alright if the wife was better educated.
* 22% of men felt that it was alright if their girlfriends were taller.
* 12% felt it was "forgiveable" if they strayed but only 8% would forgive.
* 21% would like to have a virgin wife but 19% would pay for sex.
* 31% felt it ok to have extra-marital affairs
* 31% would buy sex toys to "enhance" their relationship.
Well, now, lets disect that information and see where we are. In the same report, the LIBERALS are obviously the ones in the 30th percentile range of everything, who think that ECA (
Extra-marital
Consensual
Affairs) is ok, and 12% think they should be forgiven but their spouses would remain as "Unforgiven". Hey, I suggest that the men watch replays of Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven". You get the idea.
The high percentage, 34% to be precise of men who wouldn't mind spouses that have better education are actually a very smart lot. You see, it gives them all the excuse in the world to laze around at home with a beer in hand and have their mates come over to watch footy while the poor wife slogs the hell out of herself at work. How about that guys? Found a goldmine...you say?
And the one about the sex toy? Oh boy! No wonder so many shops selling such intricate stuff are sprouting up. You got edible undies, strawberry this and that. Hey, whatever happened to the 108 positions of Karma Sutra?
Over at the local radio morning show on 90.5FM, Kate was ranting about the perceived double standards that men have, ah well, it is the real world. It is a fact, people are a selfish bunch. We want to take and not give, be forgiven and not forgive, and the list goes on.
Last few posts, I wrote about dealing with some of my student's personal problems and I know one thing for sure, that in a relationship, women give a lot more than man do. Personal experience of mine even point to that fact. Women friends around me sometimes bemoan the lack of apathy on the part of their spouses. No wonder, we men sometimes joke in jest that wives are the "better half". I guess that there is some truth in that and all men know deep down inside that perhaps that is probably 100% true. Right now, I think the men are going to be really pissed off, but hey, sorry guys, the truth hurts.
Right now, I got quite a whole lot of data about how relationships can flounder that I could almost start a spin-off blog called "why men are liars and why women cry". Someone pointed out to me that to get a relationship really going well, the men got to start behaving like grown ups and stop acting like a 5 year old. This is what really makes the spouses wanna take out the rolling pins and smack you on the head matey!
